As I heard “Fire! fire!” I doubled my effort. (After all, a living private is better than a dead general). I saw a man park his car and run on foot. As he was running, I thought his tummy would fall down, bcos it was big (I believe his flat backside was running differently while his large tummy was running differently (the consequences of excessive Guilder and nkwobi)!     He was shouting on his phone in Igbo, “Mama Nkechi, Mama pNkechi, are you hearing me? Gather the children, there is fire at Cele, it seems ndi Boko have landed in town o! Pack the things you can carry; stop asking me questions. What do you mean if I saw them? Something that is happening in my presence; many have died in my presence! I am coming.”     At that moment, I saw the conductor that I was looking for! I asked him to give me my change there before I change my mind. The conductor said, “Ahh, Oga, don’t you go to church ni!! So you still have the heart to ask for change, upon say Boko Haram don come Cele.”     But when he looked at my eyes he knew that a hungry man is an angry man. He said, “Take your change make you no kill me for night. No be only your grand mama be witch”.     As I collected my change and relaxed from the race, the first man, in a suit, who ran after me got to me and was breathing like somebody that had run a marathon race. He managed to say: “Bros, gist me, gist me; what happened? Why where you running? I had to follow you when I suspected that you sensed danger; you know say Warri no dey carry last.”     I asked, “Which danger? I was running after the conductor that wants to eat my change…. Thank God I caught him just now.”     The man shouted, “Jesus Christ! Oga, you mean you caused all this pandemonium bcos of ordinary change? Did you see what you caused in Cele? Bcos of how much change? I feel like slapping myself for following you.”     I asked him, “Are you mad? You mean you saw someone running, you never asked why, and you joined to run. My brother, you need help. Get well soon.”     He said, “But, Oga, see the chaos naa. Is it fair?”     I told him to stay away from me or else I will abuse his sister; what nonsense! I left him before he could say I caused it.     It was later I heard that when we were running a vehicle mistakenly drove over an empty pure water sachet and it made a loud sound that aggravated things. And That was what generated the story that Boko Haram came to Cele.     The following day, I saw a guy at Conoil filling station telling people how everything happened in his presence; that he saw 20 people killed by Boko Haram….     Hmmm. Eko Akete, city for the wise … na so e be for Lagos, una hear gbam!! na to run without asking why!

The End

%d bloggers like this: