In the university, there are these set of persons that finds it hard to be in a relationship, either as a result of lack of money, physical appearance, allergic to socialize, inability to woo a lady, shyness, good religious upbringing, etc. The reasons can go on and on and differs from person to person. Although that is a kinda cool, but hey, sooner or later, the need to have a relationship partner becomes overwhelming. There are several students who are not really in a relationship, not as a result of their wish, but because they lack the confidence to approach a lady.
This publication will be significant to many students who find it hard to be in a relationship, especially the shy boys who cannot woo a crush. There will always be the days in the life of a man when he was unable to speak to a lady. So, you have kept that feelings within you for long and you are dying of it because you cannot muster the boldness to act. Bros, you are missing… how are you not even sure that she feels the same way? Well, long story for two shy folks.
Well, the road to become a master of the act in respect to wooing a lady you so have feelings for is long when you are shy and short of words. It takes time to practice it. Fortunately, many students, as a result of religious upbringing during childhood were not exposed to relationship lifestyle. You know, the “stay at home”, hence, they were not familiar with toasting ladies. Good though, but it has become a stumbling block for them in the university.
Many parents would prefer their kids to remain in the house all day. No visitation, no going out to visit friends. They are so tied down at home that when these ones comes to the university, it is a whole new world for them. Some of them become like a spring held tight in the fist and left at once to spring out. Of course, we all know how far it goes.
A Word of Caution
Many students may begin to wonder why we decided to write on relationships now – why not admissions, academics, roommates, examinations, etc as we have always done? Well, an Urhobo adage says “wherever a man and a woman stays together for a time, issues of relationships and sexual intercourse often results from it”. Owing to the above, relationship aspects is key and one of the cornerstone of academic discuss even as emotional issues resulting from failed relationships has affected academic behaviours and undulated performance to a very large extent.
Why Relationships Now?
More than 60% of freshmen in a university expect to be in a new relationship upon their admission. It is very important to state that most of the marriages today started way back in the university days, so, relationship discuss in schools are a salient part of our very existence. However, not many students are able to woo a girl they admire. Some feelings die as they came because of inability to speak up. Let us help these persons say something.
How to Woo a Lady
Wooing a lady is one of the easiest thing to do if you have the right mindset. Unfortunately, fear can enter in between for the first timers. Some guys would recite their words only to forget the lines when the play starts – with heart beating fast and no more words to say, wooing goes wrong. Now, you are the greatest joke ever.
Well, every guy has their own way of toasting a lady. Some have money so they don’t talk much. The money do all the talking. That is just it – when you have the money, you do not need to practice how to woo as lady. In fact, the ladies woo you. This is just the secret of relationships. But of course, not all guys have the money to attract ladies. There are other ways of attracting ladies. From being cute to being intelligent, swift talker, lying, etc. The list is endless.
1. Be Intelligent:
It doesn’t matter how poor you are, how ugly you are, once you are intelligent in a university, attracting the right ladies will not be such a big deal. The fact is that many ladies are intelligent but they do not want stress. They just want the easy life. So, if there is a guy who can be helping them do all of that, why not? This is very unfortunate, but it is just so. Free/easy assignment completion, free teacher, reading partner, etc. Even in the class, ladies like being close to the intelligent ones. So, even if a lady would not date you because of money, practically the university girl is ready to date you because you are intelligent. Even if you are not the A grader, provided “you are doing well”, that is enough for her.
I could still remember in my pre-JAMB classes. There are these set of beautiful girls that I do not have the liver to get close to. So, I took my miserable life as it is. But I was focus on the lessons. I would take dictionary to the class. Any word the teacher pronounce, (in vowel classes) I would look it up and either corroborate or ask questions to clarify a statement. It got to a time when the teacher, Mr. Basikoro would not teach some concepts when I am not in the class. It soon dawned on many that Mr. man is now a somebody. You know what? All those fine fine girls them, they soon started sitting close to where I was sitting. Little by little, left and right changed from boys to girls.
It was from thenceforth I realized that being intelligent could attract all the ladies you needed. So, if you are suffering from shyness in wooing a lady, try being intelligent and focus on your studies. Little by little, the people that you think you cannot talk to will come close to you naturally. Sure you do not have the money, but just exhibit some intelligence. Do not make it a display, just be natural.
2. From Platonic Friends to Lovers
You see those guys that use to say “he is just my bestie”. Fear them o. Na them be that. The real commissioners for besties. From female to female, male to male, and female to male besties, add all of them together and fear them. Sometimes, it is hard to believe there is anything “bestie” in its actual sense. Some besties were actually lesbians, later turn boyfriend and girlfriend and impregnate themselves. Kiloshele? I thought you guys were besties?
Anyways, we cannot totally rule out the fact that besties do really exist, but they are very few. So, back to the topic. If you are finding it hard to talk to the lady you like, then just be her friend. Be nice to her, nickname her, you know, jolly jolly. Na small small dance dey enter body. She will ask you for a favour one day, do for her. Me and you already knew we are looking for something, so now that God has pushed her to you, do something. To be chairman no be for mouth. Lols.
The mistake many youngsters do is that it is when they see their crush that they want to form James Bond. Common, you don’t need all of that. Try to be flexible, weak and harmless. Do like you can’t even hurt a fly. A weakling that is crushing on someone. I know how it feels like, something like you cannot even talk when she is around. Oh gosh, I have been there. That time when e go be like say you be stammerer, all the words you have gathered will escape you and you will be like “ are you resident in this area?” kai!
Anyway, understand that to be close to the person you are crushing on is way easier than actually dating her. Because, to be friends, you don’t need all those visa and bureaucratic process of answering JAMB questions like “why do you want to date me”, “can you take care of me?”, etc. Then, from the friendship zone, you begin to find your way up to the headmaster position. Meanwhile, you will be acting “Mr. qualify to be your date”. Spend, talk reasonably, make her laugh, let her reason “why am I not dating this guy”, so that when you shoot, you get that big yes.
3. Be a Joker (playful)
In any relationship, communication, jokes, laughter and understanding is key. If you can make a girl laugh, make her happy when she is around you, you have won the battle already. What were you thinking, if a girl is already laughing at your jokes, na wetin remain? Na ticket to expressway be that o. So, if you know how to convert daily conversations to spontaneous jokes, jokes out of nowhere, just make her laugh, sure she would want to be near you anytime. In fact, she will be daydreaming about you. She just want to be around you, fantasize about you, laugh the stress out. Who doesn’t want that kinda life?
4. The Nice Dressers
Do you want girls to chase you, as if you owe someone money? Then be a nice dresser. Girls like it nice, they can even smell the word “expensive”. They can tell you the cost of your shoes and the prize of your perfume. Dress to match, not just anything. Dress responsibly and look responsible, they will come tripping. Who doesn’t like it nice?
5. When Money Talks, Everything Obeys
When we say money answers all things, some persons start argument that money is not everything. You are just trying to be too religious or nasty. The bible even say money answereth all things. So who are you to disproof the bible? Aside anything God, money comes next. Money buys health ok? Money is health itself and when it comes to women, money is anything to everything. If you have money, you don’t need to know how to woo a lady, they will woo you. But the problem will then be how to control relationships as you will have too many ladies who wants to be around you. If you are not disciplined, you will ruin yourself with too many women in school.
6. The liars
This is one part of this writeup that I would not ordinarily want to bring up, but I learnt over the years that girls like lies. Some girls, if you tell them the truth, they don’t like it, but just lie for them, their head is all over you. That is why you see yourself asking “how come this girl is dating this boy”? My brother, leave matter for Matthias. Love is in the eyes of the beholder. She has heard lies and it is beautiful in her eyes.
Some boys that cannot even feed well can lie to girls that their parents are very rich. Girls will be rolling and killing themselves in relationships that leads nowhere. Well, if you are looking for a good relationship, never you start one with lies because one day, it must hit the rocks.
Neatness and cleanliness in the home attracts ladies of different background and class. If your house is (even though not rich) well designed, well painted, classically arranged, no sand, everywhere well dressed up. No shirt flying around, and you succeeded in inviting her over, and she came, she even entered the house, haba! You have married already o. Please, wear her the ring. It is a wedding day, la la la la la la la…. Lols.
Who mentioned food there? Did you just say food? You know, university life is so hectic and as a result of poor financing, many students are having hard time. Then there is free quality food in your house, and you said the girl should leave. Leave to where? She will glue her pretty as down there. You have married already. So, if you have constant food in the house, forget you are shy and you can’t woo a lady. Just invite her to your house for eating. On her first day, stock the house with all the things a lady would like. Ensure she eats to her satisfaction. As she is going, allow her to leave with a package. Let her leave with the imagination “how I wish I am in charge”. You mission is half complete already. Ger ready for introduction.
How to Overcome Shyness
Shyness in relationship matters is one thing that is killing boys but you won’t know because they will never confide in you. They keep it all to themselves because it is not palatable to be a shy person at their age. Persons with stiff religious upbringing suffer relationship shyness the most and their shyness extends till even their maturity. However, to overcome shyness in relationship, you need to do certain things. Check the list below:
1. Try to express yourself in few words: If you cannot tell your crush “I like you” directly because you are ashamed, just complement her. Tell her you look beautiful and carry your leg waka pass without saying any other thing. Maybe who knows, small small, madam will perceive you are crushing on her and may want to start a conversation with you.
2. Beg him/her money/favour: Of course, me and you know that you don’t need to favour. The plan is just to get two persons talking. If he/she turn the offer down, then twist it, offer to give her. If you really need his/her attention, let him/her feel secure asking you for a favour.
3. Go on outing: If you are always on your own, it would be difficult overcoming shyness. Go out, go clubbing with your friends. Socialize, dance, drink, get intoxicated (sometimes) and feel how it looks like. Talk raw sometimes, loosen the belt and go out of your comfort zone.
4. Read relationship books, join relationship pages/groups on social media, read about peoples’ experiences and learn from them.
5. If you cannot tell him/her “I like you”, type the following message:
What kind of friend do you want me to be to you?
- Casual friend
- Platonic friend
- Christian friend
- Friends with benefits
- Sex mate
- Romance only
- Add the ones you know
Send this message to all your friends to hear from them too INCLUDING ME.
Send the message to him/her and let him/her tell you his/her mind. I once had a relationship that started like this. Someone I was crushing on for that matter. You can imagine. See how she played into my court. It was a nice experience. What I was looking for in London came down to Ondo State. Very wonderful.
6. IF she gives a negative response, then request he/she send it back to you. Then choose c. You know I know now? Lols. Then hear from her. Add how you have feelings for her and would want to date her.
7. Use chats instead: If face to face toasting is being difficult for you, then try phone chats. No one can kill you in an online chats right? Right. You can just drop all you wish to say and expect the unexpected. Let it rain. The reply may just be awesome. Just let it out.
Tips in a Relationship
As competition runs through, as money becomes the leading theme in our current world, maintaining relationships are becoming difficult by the day. You should however, put these things into consideration:
1. Money rules relationship. Do not hope on love without money. You are not responsible then.
2. If you do not have the little means to keep a relationship, try to get that little means or wait for it.
3. Stinginess doesn’t work well with relationship
4. Relationship starts with money and ends with money
5. Having your own apartment is very important. No lady wants to be visiting her guy in his parents’ house
6. If she visits for the first time with a friend, you see that friend so? She is the commissioner for decision making. Some will be doing like they don’t know anything, it’s a lie. She was hired to come and weigh your worth. Ensure you entertain her well, also add transportation fare join, very important. Otherwise, the type of report you will get when they get home, you won’t like yourself.
7. Always go for persons within your class. Do not follow high taste ladies and complain that they like money too much. It is you who do not know his class.
8. It is better to date for a reason other than money, because money relationships doesn’t really last long.
To start a relationship in school is very easy. Boys who have sources of income, the handsome, intelligent ones, etc are at the advantageous side. However, the shy types are at the loosing edge. To overcome shyness, it is important you loosen up a little, muster up the boldness to overcome, express yourself, speak up, befriend, socialize, go clubbing, etc. Some of these habits are important if you must start and keep a relationship